Excited

Ok, it is NOW hitting me and I am officially getting excited. It is hard having 2 miscarriages. I never thought the loss of the babies could take such a lasting emotional toll on me. I recognize it the most through my successful pregnancies now as I don't engage in thinking much of baby, preparing much for baby or connecting emotionally until the last few weeks...when I am SURE everything will be ok.

Mia has been including in her prayers the last week or so that she wishes we would get out the baby toys and clothes. It cracks me up! We literally have NOTHING ready for this baby yet... I still have 5 WEEKS! 5 whole weeks of a non-baby-stuff filled house. I don't know about anyone else, but it bothers me to have baby stuff laying around and a baby bed sitting there, all EMPTY! It creeps me out.

Well, Mia and I had some alone time last night and we took a trip to the super-organized basement of neatly stacked plastic bins and carefully selected ONE bin to bring up with the newborn clothes we have left from her.

After picking through it, we have 12 white onsies, 1 white burp rag, 1 pair of white socks and 2 pj's that will work as "uni-sex". YIKES!

We will be fine, we WILL be fine, we will be FINE!

I keep trying to shop for a few outfits, and every time I go somewhere, I bring my selections to the check-out and ask what their return policy is... and it is always a shorter time frame than my due date...so, I end up leaving empty-handed. I think Mia has just enjoyed looking, picking stuff out and dreaming of the baby to come. We will try again in another 2-3 weeks.

I thought I could also share the names Mia has picked out for baby: Baby Bobby (boy) and Snow White (girl). Our names are Sophia, Sophie for short, which is what we will call her, and Oliver for a boy. We have never looked through a baby book or searched for baby names we liked. For each of the kids, we have just come to know at some point during each pregnancy what the names will be. Some of the names we have LOVED, others, just resonate and we just know.

Until next time...